MY STORY






              I have been a diehard Sparks fan since 1974. For almost twenty five
              years I have lived this secretive lifestyle. Now the truth finally comes
              out. Let's journey back, back, back in time to that golden era of 1974
              when I first saw them on a American music show. It was called The
              Midnight Special (hosted by "Wolfman Jack") I remember hearing the
              name Sparks once before. I asked my knowledgeable older brother
              and he thought that they made "orchestral type music", so I wasn't
              interested...I was into cool rock bands such as Uriah Heep, Black Oak
              Arkansas and Blue Oyster Cult and my favourite group was, of course,
              The Beatles.  When I first laid eyes on Sparks I could not believe what
              I was seeing (or hearing...) Some demented looking skinny guy who
              looked like a cross between Adolph Hitler and Charlie Chaplin. He
              looked like he was either mad or bored as hell. Rolling his eyes and
              mumbling some of the lyrics. It was like he was thinking "Hurry up
              with this damn song, I have more important things to be doing!" Then
              there was the guy with long, curly black hair singing in a high pitched
              voice at a high rate of speed.Soon I was to discover the shocking truth
              that these two men were actually BROTHERS! The music itself was
              almost normal but those two characters made it all seem very, very
              peculiar. Since I was a rock music fanatic and had a bad habit of
              buying every album in sight, I raced to the store the next day to
              purchase the album. I don't know why I bought "Kimono My House"
              because I didn't exactly love the band (yet) The first few times I played
              the album I didn't know what to make of it, it was so WEIRD.
              Especially the last song, "Equator", in which the singer ended the
              album in a very bizarre fashion (no music, just his voice)  which to this
              day still could be labeled strange...weird...demented...not of this earth.
              You know, sort of like Michael Bolton, but in a good way...
 

              Slowly but surely the songs clicked inside my tiny brain and I learned
              to love each and every song. My favourite probably being "This Town
              Ain't Big Enough For Both Of Us", which I didn't know at the time
              was a big hit in Britain. It is probably the song I have heard the most
              in my life and I never get tired of it. In fact, Sparks music is the only
              music I never get bored with. (I even have to take a vacation from The
              Beatles once in awhile.)
 

              1974 was a very good year as they released another album,
              "Propaganda". It was in a similair vein to "Kimono" and was in some
              ways even better. They appeared occasionally on television and I fell in
              love with their image. My friend and I would stand in front of a mirror
              and pretend to be the Mael brothers. I would be Russell and he would
              be Ron. Sometimes I wanted to be Ron because he didn't do the facial
              expressions to my liking...
 

              The next few years were great years to be a Sparks fans. "Indiscreet"
              was released in 1975 and although Russell didn't always use his falsetto
              I loved so dearly, I still loved all the songs. I read in a rock magazine
              around this time that Sparks were breaking up and that the brothers
              were going to be called The Mael Brothers. One of the band members
              had mentioned that he thought the brothers were getting away from
              rock and roll music. I spent 1976 searching for a album by "The Mael
              Brothers" and it finally arrived. They were still calling themselves
              Sparks, but it was only Ron and Russell on the front and back cover.
              This was the first and only time I actually had a new Sparks album in
              my hands but I didn't buy it right away. Was I losing interest in them
              perhaps? I think I was just dreading that they had started doing
              country music or something worse. I was pleased to discover once I
              did buy it that they were rocking more than ever. The only
              disappointment was that Russell was singing in a lower voice, although
              he used that wonderful high pitched voice for the end of the last song,
              which was kind of cool.
              Anyway, I loved all the songs on it (especially "Confusion") which still
              ranks as one of my favorites of theirs. Okay, maybe I'm stretching the
              truth a little, "Everybody's Stupid" was kind of lame...
 

              Around this time I finally purchased the first two Sparks albums,
              "Sparks" from 1971 and "A Woofer In Tweeter's Clothing" from
              1973. I thought some of their music was "weird" but these two albums
              cut the cake. I prefered the first album over the second, although now
              I think "Woofer" is the better album. Not to mention "Whippings and
              Apologies" is amazing and one of their best tunes.
 

              1977 brought us "Introducing Sparks". What a bizarre title for a band
              who had already released six albums, but I guess since they were on a
              new label it was appropriate. This is the album that my friend (who
              always hated Sparks and wanted to use their albums for target
              practice) bought. It must have been commercial enough even for him
              to buy. It was definetly commercial and much more pop oriented, but
              it still contained the spirit of those looney Mael brothers. The humor
              was still there and the songs were catchy, so I was happy. The only
              thing that bugged me about the album was the picture of Ron and
              Russell on the front and back cover. Although looking back now, Ron
              did look kind of handsome...
 

              1978 came and went without any word on them. In 1979 I had heard
              that they were working on a disco album. The blood in my veins
              pumped with dread when I heard that. "Disco is simple and Sparks are
              not simple, it's going to be a disaster", I thought. How wrong I could
              be. I loved the new sound. (This shows you how hip I was, even back
              then...) Russell was even using his falsetto again!!! The whole album
              was brilliant. "Beat The Clock" was a hit! I was disc jockeying back
              then and when I played it at dances, no one even threw vegetables or
              fruit at me. They actually danced to it!
 

              1980 was a great year. I met a girl through the Sparks Fanclub and I
              visited California and she visited me here in Canada.
              That was the good part... The bad part was Sparks released "Terminal
              Jive". This was their first album that almost "sucked". It wasn't bad
              so much as it was just kind of bland. Recently I have learned that Ron
              Mael did not even play on this album, which I guess half explains it.
              The two tunes I did love though, "When I'm With You" and "Stereo"
              almost made me forgive them for the whole ugly mess.
 

              The next Sparks period began in 1981 with the release of "Whomp
              That Sucker". The guitars were back and they had a real band again.
              The songs were up to par with their earlier material and it was nice to
              hear them rockin' again.
 

              1982 is the year I would like to forget, as my wife still brings it up
              occasionally... You see, Sparks fans... I was in another city with my
              future wife (roughly ten miles from our apartment) when I found out
              that "Angst In My Pants" had been released. Sadly, it wasn't in my
              hometown yet, so I decided to hop on the next bus to Toronto to go
              and buy it. So, I left my wife (with a brand new vacuum cleaner...) to
              lug our new purchase on to a bus to take her home while I went to
              Toronto. She got off the bus and had to lug the vacuum cleaner up a
              rather steep hill. I have apologised to her for this selfish act, but I have
              to give Ron and Russell some of the blame, right? Anyway, the album
              was amazing!!! That's the most important thing... This was also the
              year that I finally saw them in concert. They played at the El
              Mocombo in Toronto. My wife and I were about ten feet away from
              them. I think Ron and Russell will always remember that concert.
              (You know, having their number one fan in the crowd and all...)
 

              I liked "Sparks In Outer Space" when it was released in 1984,
              although looking back now it isn't up to par with the Angst/Whomp
              albums. At least I didn't hop on a bus to Toronto and leave my future
              wife...oh, forget it.
 

              1985 saw the release of "Music That You Can Dance To". When I
              heard it, I thought to myself, "I ain't dancing to THIS!". In another
              words, I didn't care for it much at all. I had heard the song "Change"
              before the album came out so I was really disappointed. "Change" is
              without a doubt, one of their best songs, but the rest of the songs
              seemed to forced or something. I actually like it a lot now, although
              everytime I hear "Fingertips" I want to vomit really good.
 

              After "Music That You Can Dance To" came "Interior Designs" in
              1989. This was not an improvement. This was possibly even worse. I
              loved the first song, "So Important", but the rest of the album was
              almost, shall I say, bad? "Love-O-Rama" almost made me yearn for a
              repeat listening of "Fingertips". As usual though, over time I have
              come to respect this album for what it is. It's not great Sparks, but it is
              good Sparks. Some of the songs were even great, such as "The
              Toughest Girl In Town".
 

              After 1989 I never heard anything about Sparks for years. I had
              presumed they had finally packed it in and Ron Mael was now a door
              to door salesman for Roland synthesizers or something. Then one
              magical day I was looking through the CD bin at my local record store
              and I discovered a new album called "Gratitious Sax and Senseless
              Violins". (Luckily I didn't have to hop on a bus to Toronto and...oh,
              forget it...) On first listen I was disappointed to hear that they were
              still in their "dance/electronic" mode, but after a few spins I realized
              that they still had it. The songs were outstanding and catchy as hell. I
              admit I miss hearing an occasionally guitar, but I don't want to get
              selfish again here...
 

              Amazingly I didn't have to wait five or six years for the next album.
              "Plagiarism" was released in 1997 and it is one of their best albums. I
              know some fans don't like it but I'm not one of them. They even
              managed to make a better version of the song "Angst In My Pants".
              Loud guitars and drums! My favourite track though, has to be
              "Something For The Girl With Everything" with Faith No More.
              Sparks fans are now waiting patiently for a new album. I'll have to
              let my wife know. Perhaps we can purchase a new vacuum cleaner
              at the same time!